Babs wrote: I’m dating a man who has two children 17 and 23.
As I agree with your comments…I question how long should one wait for the children to be ready to meet me?
Trying to involve yourself in their lives too quickly or too aggressively may have the adverse reaction of pushing your date away as he tries to cope with his feelings and help his children cope with theirs.
If you sense that your partner needs time alone, give him that time. Give your new partner the freedom to dictate how the relationship will progress, including when and how you will interact with his children.
My father will not speak of my mom; it's as if she never existed! Is it wrong to fess up to him and tell him how upsetting I find all of this?
He says constantly that he wouldn't change one thing in his life as it is today for anything. I miss my mom so much, there is such a void without her and it is so heartbreaking that the one person who could tell the best "mom" stories won't even speak her name.
Just keep in mind that dating a widower can require a bit of extra patience, understanding and a willingness to allow him space to express his feelings. Even if your new love interest has had ample time to grieve the loss of his spouse, his children may still be dealing with the loss of their parent -- and he may be trying to help them deal with their pain.
Anthony Oster is a licensed professional counselor who earned his Master of Science in counseling psychology at the University of Southern Mississippi.
He has served as a writer and lead video editor for a small, South Louisiana-based video production company since 2007.
I've tried to be supportive to them, respecting their loss, knowing that I will never take the place of their mother (nor would I want to) but I would like to be able to get to know them better and be their friend. After 3 yrs of being with their father I feel like a relationship with his kids is like beating my head against the wall!
The daughter, age 32, is always calling her father on his cell phone putting a guilt trip of some sort on him.